Perfectionism: Piano or Sandbox?

  I am a perfectionist. This is no secret to many of my friends and family. The problem with perfectionism is that perfectionists often take an all or nothing approach to life. My brother pointed this out to me while I was talking on the phone with him the other day. I know this to be true from personal experience. I often spend hours on a particular task trying to get every little detail just right. (Don't even ask how long I spent writing the Primary program this year!) Take housework for example. Anyone who has children like mine knows that keeping a house clean--and I don't mean just picked up, I mean really clean--is an almost impossible task. Keeping it picked up is a task in itself, but when I start looking at the hand prints on the walls and windows and the dirt on the floor or when the bathroom is dirty almost as soon as I've cleaned it, I pretty much just want to quit. Things compound and get worse and worse as I put forth less and less effort. I cannot have a perfectly clean house, so why try? Why should I keep trying when the laundry is an ever-growing mountain and the dishes are just getting dirty again as soon as I wash them? Why should I take the garbage out when it's full again by the end of the day? Why should I mop the floor when 5 minutes later my 4 year old spills orange juice all over it? Well I have an answer, but I'll get to that in a moment. First I want to share a little analogy. Perfectionists (and all of us really) have to ask ourselves a question: Am I trying to build a piano when a sandbox is good enough?

Let me explain. Building a piano is a precision process. Attention to detail is imperative in order for the piano to be both functional and aesthetically pleasing  in appearance and sound quality.  Building a piano takes time. There are hundreds of different parts that must all work together and a misstep in assembly could result in an instrument that isn't good for much. A sandbox on the other hand has one requirement. It needs to hold sand. Nail a few 2x4's together and you're there. The angles don't have to be precise, the wood doesn't need to be sanded or stained. It's a relatively short and simple process. In fact, my grandpa built a really cool mega-sandbox for us growing up and it involved getting a bunch of railroad ties and setting them end to end to form the play space. No nailing required. The thing is, even though it was simple to do, it was still perfectly functional. In fact it was enjoyed by us for years.

Still wondering what the heck I'm talking about? Let me put it this way: perfectionists think everything needs to be a piano. Perfectionists tend to make even simple tasks into a big production. We need to ask ourselves what needs to be done.  Am I building a piano when all I really need is a sandbox?  Is all the extra time and effort really worth it or is making sure the dirty socks are picked up and the toilet is clean good enough? Sometimes you have to make a decision but when you do, keep in mind that pianos are special. A lot of times you might enjoy life a little more if you just go play in the sandbox.

Now back to my earlier question: Why should I keep trying? Things won't be perfect. That's the nature  of  mortality and the Fall (of Adam). Well, at the Relief Society Broadcast, Elder Uchtdorf answered this question for me.We should keep trying because by doing so we are creating. We are creating cleanliness and order. We are creating a family that feels loved and nurtured. We are creating good characteristics within ourselves. We have an inherent desire to create because we are children of The Creator. We have a divine nature and the desire to grow and be more like Him.  As we express our creativity we feel fullfilled and satisfied. We feel joy in our efforts. "Adam fell that man might be and men are that they might have joy." It's all part of the plan. However uncreative we may think we are, we all have the ability to bring into existence something that wasn't there before: a smile, a happy family, a clean home. Perfectionist or not, we can, as Elder Uchtdorf said, beautify the world around us and within us and that is the path to peace, hope and joy.